ENTRY: Derek the Cleric’s Maiden Voyage on the Internet

Entered by ‘Derek the Cleric’ (created by Andy Robb).

Dear friends

It is over three years since I launched myself onto the World Wide Super Highway (as I gather it is called in common parlance) in the guise of my very own ‘blog’, no less.

Who would have believed that in such a short space of time my regular missives would have gained such a head of steam and have earned me the moniker of ‘bumbling internet sensation’.

Whilst I may wish to tweak these well-intentioned sentiments it would nevertheless be churlish of me to ignore the painful truth that, while the comatose faithful at St Cliff’s (as the bishop rather unkindly refers to my benign flock) may remain indifferent to my weekly discourses, my ‘online congregation’ appear to be a tad more appreciative.

I will confess that my good lady wife was a little more reticent when she learned of my intentions to reach a wider audience via the ‘blogosphere’, chiefly due to the uncanny knack I have of ‘putting my foot in it’. Whilst this predisposition may impress those with a penchant for contortionism, it has landed yours truly in more than the odd pickle.

My first internet faux pas was on the occasion of opening my ‘inbox’ for the very first time and viewing what I naively (and mistakenly) thought to be an email pertaining to The Tribulation, proffering apparent cast-iron evidence for the 144,000 referred to in Revelation as being Jews.

My excitement at successfully embracing this wondrous new means of communication at my first attempt caused me to throw caution to the wind and to ‘mail’ this important missive, poste-haste, to every member of the clerical community that my address book could proffer.

No doubt it would have been wise to have read a little more of its content before allowing the thing to go ‘cyber’ (I am a veritable magnet when it comes to all the latest jargon, am I not?) but sadly hindsight was not on the menu that particular day.

I had heard that that whilst the process of of sending an email was relatively quick, the average response time erred towards tardy.

Thus I was somewhat taken aback to discover that within a matter of minutes my inbox was positively humming.The joy of knowing that my maiden voyage on the World Wide Super Highway had proved so popular was short-lived.

In my haste I had unwittingly liberally circulated an article not in fact supporting the JEWS but rather the JWs!

Let us just hope and pray that this unfortunate theological gaffe does not signal the ‘end times’ for me also when I face my clerical colleagues at our local ministers’ fraternal tomorrow.

Onward and upward



Lucy is a writer and editor based in the UK. She is author of Forgetful Heart: Remembering God in a Distracted World (2014) and Undivided Heart: Finding Meaning and Motivation in Christ (coming 2017) - both published by DLT books.

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Competition ClosesOctober 7th, 2013
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A blog post writing competition on the theme of Christian Writing in a Digital Age.

Entrants should write a blog post reflecting on the theme of no more than 450 words. Each post should include something to do with writing, something to do with faith and something to do with the digital age.

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